Listening is Hard
There are three terribly bad habits I often fall into when listening to people.

1. Ignoring – You might be speaking but my mind is someplace else entirely.
2. Pretending – I’m kinda sorta listening to you and I might even be nodding my head and saying uh-huh.
3. Selecting – My mind latches on to a few of the things you are saying but I ignore all the rest.

I don’t think I’m alone in the world in dealing with these bad listening habits. Most of us are just too full of ourselves or too distracted to give others the attention they deserve. Even if we could get past those the bad habits and have everything someone says register in our brains, we may still be missing out on the most important part – understanding.

The Missing Link
The ability to understand is an even rarer trait that the ability to listen. Understanding requires a combination of concentration, curiosity, passion, compassion, and empathy. We all have a deep seated desire to be understood and known by others. When someone takes the time and effort to really understand (in a deep, emotionally connected sort of way) what we are saying, it makes us feel cared for and special .

This is called “empathic listening”.

Serious Potential
If you practice empathic listening I’m certain you will be blown away by the results. People will be drawn to you because they sense that you care. You will uncover all kinds of problems, unmet needs, and opportunities that you would never be aware of if you weren’t listening for them.

Empathic listening is critical to Lean Startup methodologies. If you aren’t listening (with understanding) to what your customers are saying, you will totally miss the mark. It’s especially easy when you are gather feedback on an idea to lead people to the conclusion you want them to make, not the conclusion they would make on their own. If you aren’t understanding your customers, you will fail.

Digital Listening?
Our relationships are increasingly being conducted in a digital arena. Is it possible to practice empathic listening online the same way you would in person? The short answer is no. Experts say around 70% of our communication is non-verbal behavior that simply can’t be experienced remotely.

Despite this, I think that a certain level of empathic listening is achievable online.

It’s a Conversation.
The internet can help you discover people’s needs, pay attention to what they like and don’t like, and facilitate vibrant discussions. All these things will put you well on your way to really connecting with and understanding someone.

Compassion Works
If you have a true interest or concern and sincerely want to understand and care for someone, you will find ways of accomplishing this whether you are listening to them in person or not.

The Litmus Test
One really practical way of improving your empathic listening capabilities is to listen closely enough that you have a couple of solid questions to follow up with. This is harder than it sounds – but the rewards are fantastic.

Try it and let me know how it works for you.

Goodwill makes your day. When you do something that generates goodwill you are earning trust, loyalty, and eventually, a friend.

It’s Invisible
Wikipedia tells us that goodwill is “an accounting concept meaning the value of an entity over and above the value of its assets.” Goodwill is the myriad of intangible assets that make your business even more valuable than the products on your shelf and the money in the bank. To a large extent, goodwill is simply how people feel about you.

It’s Important
A cheap, mass-production mentality has grown increasingly pervasive in our society. Individuals and businesses who are willing to break that mold by adding personal attention and detail have enormous potential.

A Digital Dilemma
Our transactions and interactions are increasingly – to the point of almost being exclusively – digital. The cost of digitally distributing products (ebooks, apps, music/video downloads, social collaboration, etc.) is essentially zero. This presents an interesting challenge when trying to create goodwill. Consumers recognize the cheapness. Deep down inside, I think many people feel slightly gypped when they pay for something that costs nothing.

How do you build goodwill in a digital age?
I don’t have the answer(s) to this question, but here are a few ideas on how you can build goodwill.

1. Show Yourself
Recently I replied with a comment to one of Chris Brogan’s excellent email newsletters. To my utter shock and delight Chris personally responded to my message and asked a follow-up question. I was amazed that he took the time to personally respond, and, just as he planned it, I am more attentive than ever to what he has to say.

2. Good Design
The success of Apple, Instagram, and so many other design-centric businesses shows that people appreciate and are frequently willing to pay extra for well-designed products. Having good design shows that you care.

3. Give Value for Free
People aren’t dumb. They recognize that an e-book or some other digital product costs essentially nothing for you to distribute. To overcome this, the smartest digital entrepreneurs give most of their content away for free. My mentor and friend Wade Myers created the most comprehensive and useful financial planning tool for startups I’ve ever seen. He also created more than a dozen detailed videos explaining how to use the financial model in your startup. On top of all that, he also lets you decide the value of the model for yourself, and pay accordingly. This type of openness and trust is a great example of goodwill-building that will power successful people into the digital age.

On the other hand good customers are a joy to work with. Your creativity can shine and is appreciated. The work you do feels meaningful and perhaps even stretches you a bit. Projects for good customers are usually profitable too, for them and for you.

What’s standing in your way?
A lot of creative professionals, agencies, and freelancers would love to be picky about what projects and customers they take on, but instead have to take whatever work comes their way.

Why is this? Why do you spend so much time working on stuff that stresses you out and is unfulfilling? I believe it primarily boils down to two things:

1. Lack of Vision
To gain direction, you have to answer these two questions: Who is your ideal customer? and, What is it that you can be the very best at? For most people these critical components aren’t clearly defined. If you don’t know what your goal is you won’t reach it.

2. Lack of Discipline
Staying on task – moving towards your vision will not (I repeat, will not) be easy. You will have to practice saying no often.

Choosing
Here are a few secrets I’ve learned that can help you overcome these obstacles and choose the customers that are best for you.

Know what you Want
So what does your ideal customer look like? Most people I talk to don’t really know; they just mumble vague generalities. Who do you want to work for/with? Write down exactly what your ideal customer looks like:

• What type of personality do they have?
• What ideas do they get excited about?
• Do they operate methodically or fly by the seat of their pants?
• Are they fun loving or serious? etc.
• What is their industry?
• What is their business model?
• How big is their budget?
• What size is their company?
• What does their team look like?
• How big is their team?
• What types of people are on their team?
• What is communication and bureaucracy like?

Knowing the answers to these types of questions will help you define your vision and give you a litmus test for evaluating clients and projects.

Know What you Do
A lot of people, especially in the web and creative worlds, seem to present themselves as a Jack of all trades. Having wide knowledge is extremely important, but it’s only humanly possible to be great at a few things. What are those things? If you aren’t doing what you are really good at you will probably struggle being happy doing it over the long term.

Patience & Persistence
Finding your ideal customers will take time. You have to say no frequently, when a customer or situation clearly doesn’t support your goals. You will also have to endure your share of bad customers as you refine your goals.

Stability
If you can’t put food on the table it’s pretty hard to pass up any paying project regardless of how bad the client is. Sometimes you just have to do what it takes. But if you really want to move towards having only the right type of clients in the long term you will need to achieve some stability.

• Build up savings – these can carry you through the dry periods and extend your runway.
• Stay lean – keep your overhead low
• Recurring revenue – nuff said.

Networking
The perfect customer is out there, you just have to find them. It’s critical to build solid relationships with great people. Once you find an ideal customer you should look around at their friends. Awesome people usually hang out with other awesome people.

Watch This
Ramit Sethi and Chase Jarvis did an incredible segment on how to earn a living as a creative professional. You should definitely check it out.

Nothing goes as planned, few things work the first time, setbacks happen, and most ideas take a completely different shape than you originally envisioned.

To some, failure comes as a debilitating shock and others (the glass-half-full types) as just a speed bump. Regardless of how you view failure, it’s probably just around the corner for something you are working on. (Wow…I’m surprising myself with how gloomy this post is sounding. Keep reading though, I think it will start looking up.)

If change, setbacks, and failure are so inevitable, why does it surprise and bother us so much? I’ve been around enough startups to know that the original idea is almost never what ends up working out. If you hold your original plan too tightly you won’t survive, because the first idea you have probably won’t work.

What Now?
Bake failure into your plan from the very beginning.

If we are being honest with ourselves we know the chances of getting it right the first time are slim to none. The trick is to fail quickly. The faster you can reach the point where you know something isn’t going to work, the less blood, sweat, and tears you have to sacrifice – not to mention the fact that you’re one step closer to knowing what really does work.

When you bake failure into your plans it has to be a conscious decision. If you just keep the thought that failure is likely tucked in the back of your mind, it probably won’t do you much good. Instead, developing a strategy for how you will reach (and break through) failure points quickly is much more valuable.

How?
So what does it take to strategically bake failure into your plan? Here are three ideas:

• Humility – When your precious idea isn’t working you have to be willing to sacrifice it, admit failure, and move on.
• Runway – Make sure you have a long enough runway of resources (time, money, energy, etc) to break through barriers, regroup, and reach liftoff.
• Customers – Steve Blank says that no business plan survives first contact with customers. The sooner you get your idea in front of the people who will be using it, the better.

This week is different. I’ve struggled to flesh out anything worthwhile. The ideas just aren’t flowing like they normally do.

What’s Wrong?
Today I was struggling to solve a vexing technical problem for a big project with a looming deadline. Out of desperation I set aside what I was working on, moved my chair over by the window, and grabbed reading material unrelated to anything I was working on. It didn’t take long when suddenly the fog lifted – ideas for solving my problem started popping into my head and I felt generally a lot better.

That was easy.

Time Out
After my little reading break by the window it hit me that for more than a week I really haven’t stopped. Every night has had some activity. For a variety of reasons I haven’t been able to get in my afternoon brain-clearing run, not to mention I’m still struggling with the energy-zapping effects of mono.

This evening I did my best to stop. Went for a run. Watched an Andy Griffith show, read a book and a number of the articles that have been stacking up in my Instapaper account. After only a few hours of “time out” therapy it was like my brain kicked back into gear.

If you haven’t stopped in a while – I highly recommend that you do so.

Here are three ways limitations can make you ultra-productive.

The Zone
Don’t you love it when you are in the “zone”? Hitting that magic point when we possess the near superhuman ability to get things done is an awesome feeling. Sadly, the “zone” is an often short lived and infrequent blip in our days.

Where does the “zone” come from? One word – Focus. And limitations define focus. When we limit what we think about, what we are doing, and what we allow to go on around us, the stage is set for entering the zone. Achieving this takes serious discipline, but focusing your attention on one thing can have almost magical results. (Thanks, Tony Schwartz)

Limit your attention to the most important thing on your agenda, and the “zone” is just around the corner.

“Real Artists Ship” – Steve Jobs
If you aren’t shipping you are just spinning your wheels. How do you get to that point where your project is out the door? You have to say no. You have to set limitations – starting with a ship date. Set an aggressive but reasonable date and say no to anything that comes in its way. Urgency (in the right doses) can unlock your creativity to help get more done faster and better.

Know what you do
What actions get you the most results? You should spend as much of your time as possible doing those things. It’s so easy to spend time on the unimportant, or on things that are better left to others. Sometimes we have to sacrifice (e.g. make less money, give up a role we want to have) in order to focus on the things we do best. The results are extraordinary. Limit what you do to what you do best.

Freedom
Limitations can set you free to focus and do a great job. When your focus is divided between limitless options/distractions/far-away deadlines your abilities are weakened.

You can be superhuman if you discipline yourself to embrace limitations.

ROI
“Return on Investment” is a concept that finds itself regularly at the top of my mind. The “asset” I’m most concerned about getting a good return on is my time. We are each given such a small sliver of time here on earth, and I want to be sure that my little portion of it is spent with the best possible return.

For me, writing is one of those high-return activities. Whether I am blogging here at LaunchThought.com or just getting my ideas down in my trusty Moleskine, writing proves itself to be a good investment every time. Here are just a few of the benefits I see of keeping writing as a regular habit:

The Process
Life has a lot more journeys than destinations, and writing is the same way – it’s a process. The writing process forces you to take vague ideas and start organizing and evaluating them. It brings clarity. The more you practice the discipline of translating your thoughts into words, the better you will become at evaluating and articulating ideas.

Vaporize Bad Ideas
Sometimes an idea can run wild in your mind, taking up more and more of your precious brain cycles. Often, writing an idea down is the best way to see how flimsy it is.

Accountability
I find that writing helps keep me accountable to my priorities whether others see what I’ve written or not. Blogging is especially good for keeping you on track. When you are putting your thoughts in front of others it adds an extra measure of urgency, plus, fear of embarrassment forces you to evaluate your thoughts more closely.

So good yet so hard.
This year, I’m determined to discipline myself to write more. For being such a high ROI activity, I’m dumbfounded at why it’s so hard to do consistently.

Thanks to Chris Shiflett for the nudge!

 BUT…

As I observe the excitement about Lean Startup spreading, there is also a disappointing trend. This trend is not a product of the methodology itself, but of mankind’s intrinsic propensity for procrastination. So many entrepreneurs I’ve talked with are practically giddy about Lean Startup – they are reading the book, following the blogs and tweets, buying eBooks and apps, and attending workshops, meetups, and conferences. But all too often their actual implementation of the Lean Startup methods seems behind the curve of their overall enthusiasm.

It’s Almost Too Easy 

The Lean Startup methods are so powerful they practically strip away any excuse for not taking action and shipping your idea. This makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Our lizard brains scream “no!” and start looking for something, anything to put between us and taking action.

Information is often the closest thing our lizard brains can latch on to in order to slow us down. “You need more information before you can move forward.” This is a lie. Once you understand the core components of Lean Startup methodology the only information you really need is from your customers.

Remembering Is Tough

I’m not saying you shouldn’t continually review Lean methodologies, or that you shouldn’t go to events or use tools that help you on your path. On the contrary – doing things the hard way is so ingrained in our nature we have to continually review and intentionally practice the things we learn about running Lean. Do not stop learning and refreshing your memory on Lean methods. Just be biased toward action – implement what you are learning.

We All Want a System

Systems make us feel safe and comfortable. It’s easier to remember a system than a vauge concept. That’s one of the reasons Lean methodologies have gotten so much attention – incredibly profound concepts have been boiled down to a simple, potent system. Don’t let the system defeat itself. Systems are intended for action – especially the Lean Startup.

Now go do something.

Without trust, you will never develop a deep relationship with your web audience. Your users will never enter their email address, they won’t give you permission to market to them, and they most certainly will not pay their hard-earned money for something you offer.

Here are seven ideas on how you can build trust with your audience on the web.

1. Prove that others are buying
People often operate out of a herd mentality. If they see that other people trust you and are buying, they will be more likely to buy themselves. Groupon does a great job capitalizing on this. Testimonials, case-studies, and logos of prominent customers are all provide proof that other people trust you.

2. Social Proof
It supports your credibility when people see that others have “liked” or “shared” your content or products. Make sure your social sharing icons are prominently displayed, not only so people will click them but for the social affirmation benefit as well.

3. Press Logos
Ramit Sethi is an amazing author, speaker, and financial coach. People trust his advice on how they should handle their money. Throughout Ramit’s website he uses numerous tactics to enhance his persuasiveness. For example, the logos of the news organizations that have featured him stand out right away and lend him even more credibility.

4. Be Accessible
Your website visitors will be more comfortable if they feel like they can get help if they need it.

5. Transparency
When you open up your site and allow customer reviews or even show realtime data on support request satisfaction like ZenDesk does people will respect your openness.

6. Don’t Be Nosy
Red flags go up when you ask for far too much information without already having developed a relationship. You have to earn your users’ trust. Prove that you can create value for them; this will give them enough confidence to open up on their own.

7. Show your face
Walker Corporate Law is anything but the typical stodgy lawfirm. You can tell the difference as soon as you visit their website. The warm and informative video by the founder, Scott Walker, immediately raises the level of trust. People are interested in doing business with people, so your website should reflect you as a fellow human.

You have to Deserve Trust 
You can follow all these tips plus a million more, but they won’t do you any good if you aren’t worthy of trust. People are becoming better and better at spotting fakes in our digital age, so be authentic and earn your audience’s trust. You’ll go a long way.

Artisans are profiting from being different (and better) everywhere you look. From tiny consultancies, artists, and even big companies like Apple.

The success of artisans begs the question – what makes them different? Here are three ideas:

1. Passion

• Pushing through the valleys of a great endeavor takes tremendous emotional commitment – passion is the only sustainable fuel.
• Passion is infectious and magnetic: people are drawn to those who truly care about their craft.
• The most creative parts of your brain are inaccessible unless passion is there to unlock them.

The Mast Brothers are an incredible example of passionate artisans. They are fanatical about their craft (chocolate making) and it shows in everything they do. From taking a sailboat to the Dominican Republic to personally buy their beans from cocoa farmers to hand-wrapping each bar of chocolate, the Mast Brothers instill their passion in every step of the process.

This video of the Mast Brothers explaining what they do is INCREDIBLE – totally worth the time to watch it.

2. Connection

Humans crave relationship and connection with others. When someone invests their time and passion into something special it can establish a personal connection. A rich story or history behind something we buy or participate in can deepen the connection even further.

One of my new favorite possessions is a typographic rendering of the Colosseum by designer/speaker/author Cameron Moll (who incidentally designed the theme this website is based on). Cameron and his wife went to Rome for their 10th wedding anniversary. While there he was amazed by the Colosseum and studied its architecture and features in detail. When he returned from the trip he spent hundreds of hours painstakingly recreating the Colosseum typographically.

Cameron created a beautiful website telling the story of how he came to make the Colosseum poster, how he got the idea, the detail he put into producing the art, and the care that is taken in the printing process. This backstory makes you a participant in the “experience” rather than the mere purchaser of an object.

3. Scarcity

Artisanship is not about how many “widgets” you produce, but about the passion and care you put into each widget. Artisanship takes time. By definition, this is a limiting factor – you simply can’t rush quality. Artisans have to choose to say “no” to many things so the things they say “yes” to are amazing.

Because pixels are so cheap and plentiful, the principle of scarcity is especially important in the digital age. Salon.com discovered the power of scarcity when they cut the number of posts they were publishing and focused on quality over quantity. Conventional web publishing wisdom said that the more content you got out on the web the better – preferably in pithy, bite-sized chunks. Salon.com rejected this and focused on doing high-quality, long-form journalism. Their traffic and reader retention went through the roof.

Who?

Who do you follow or support because they infuse their work with passion?